


Jump The Shark (4.19)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [79]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Acting in Unison, Alcohol, Aliases, Costumes and Disguises, Dean's Amulet, Dean's Leather Jacket - Freeform, Ghouls, Holy Water, Holy water in the face, Hunter's Funeral, Impala, John's Journal, John's cell phone, Law enforcement officers, Monsters, Salt, Shapeshifter, Unconsciousness, gank, photo album, rock paper scissors, silver - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:53:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8791357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: Sam n' Dean is on a hustlin trip when they receive a cold-ass lil call from a Adam Milligan, whoz ass is tryin ta find Jizzy Winchesta n' shit. They discover dat Adam was conceived 19 muthafuckin years ago when his crazy-ass mutha fell tha fuck up in ludd wit Jizzy Winchester.





	1. Now

_INT yo. HALLWAY – NIGHT_

Da camera approaches a window. Next ta tha window be a table wit a lamp n' two photographs; one iz of a lil' playa n' a biatch, ADAM n' KATE MILLIGAN. KATE her muthafuckin ass runs tha fuck into tha table, lookin back fearfully. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch shrieks n' runs down tha hallway. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks back n' keeps hustlin.

 **KATE  
** No! Go away!

KATE gets tha fuck into her bedroom n' locks tha door behind her muthafuckin ass.

_INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT_

KATE, whoz ass is bustin a cold-ass lil coat over blue scrubs, leans against tha door as SOMEONE poundz on dat shit.

Da poundin abruptly stops.

KATE waits a moment, breathang hard, n' shoves tha dresser up in front of tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch chillaxes a funky-ass bit, struttin backward towardz her bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SOMEONE ELSE is under tha bed.

KATE sits on tha bed, still breathang hard.

 **KATE  
** Oh, mah god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Oh, mah god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Oh, god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but all gravy. It aint nuthin but all gravy.

KATE yells: tha SOMEONE ELSE has grabbed her by tha ankle n' pulled, draggin her onto tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da SOMEONE ELSE drags KATE under tha bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! KATE screams, grabbin all up in tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. KATE grabs tha nightstand right before she goes under, knockin it over n' knockin a picture onto tha floor: itz of JOHN WINCHESTER.

 


	2. Act One

**_MIDDLE OF NOWHERE_ **

_EXT. LAKESIDE – DAY_

Da Impala is parked next ta a lake. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is leanin against tha hood, brushin his cold-ass teeth. DEAN is lyin across tha front seat, head n' shouldaz up against tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN twists around, gettin SAMz attention, n' opens tha door, which nearly dumps his ass on tha ground.

 **SAM  
** Hey yo. How'd you chill?

DEAN climbs outta tha car.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck do you think, biatch? I be starving. Letz git breakfast.

 **SAM  
** Where, biatch? We like two minutes from anything.

 **DEAN  
** But I be horny now, nahmeean?

DEAN comes round ta tha front of tha car.

 **SAM  
** Therez probably still a sandwich up in tha back seat.

DEAN turns around, rubbin a hand over his wild lil' face, n' reaches up in all up in tha open back window, pullin up a paper bag yo. Dude opens tha bag n' sniffs, then leans his head back n' inhales.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but tuna.

A beeper rings inside tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN tosses tha bag back tha fuck into tha back seat n' puts his handz ta his jeans pockets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM spits up toothpaste foam. DEAN leans up in all up in tha front window n' rummages up in tha gludd compartment, pullin up tha ringin phone. DEAN hits his head on tha roof as tha pimpin' muthafucka tries ta git out. DEAN looks all up in tha phone.

 **SAM  
** Isn't dat Dadz phone?

DEAN flips tha beeper open, presses a funky-ass button, n' puts it ta his wild lil' fuckin ear.

 **DEAN  
** Hello?

A YOUNG MAN, ADAM MILLIGAN, lyrics.

 **ADAM  
** Uh, is dis John?

 **DEAN  
** Dude can't come ta tha phone. Can I help yo slick ass?

 **ADAM  
** No no no—I straight-up—I need ta rap ta John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This is Adam Milligan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude knows mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Well, sorry ta be tha one ta break dis ta you, pal yo, but Jizzy took a dirt nap mo' than two muthafuckin years ago.

A shocked sound.

 **DEAN  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is this?

 **ADAM  
** I be his son.

DEAN stares.

**_WINDOM_ **

Da Impala parks next ta Cousin Oliverz Hilltop Cafe.

**_Windom, Minnesota_ **

A van goes past.

DEAN n' SAM git outta tha car.

 **SAM  
** Dean, look, dopest I can tell, Adam Milligan is real.

DEAN unlocks n' opens tha trunk, then tha weapons box. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM readz from a paper up in a open folder.

 **SAM  
** Um, born September twenty-ninth, 1990 ta Kate Milligan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. No daddy listed on tha birth certificate. Dat punk a Eagle Scout.

DEAN pulls assorted weapons outta tha trunk, includin Rubyz knife.

 **SAM  
** Graduated from high school wit honors n' currently goes ta tha Universitizzle of Wisconsin—biologizzle major, pre-med.

DEAN closes tha weapons box.

 **SAM  
** Dean, biatch? Yo ass listening?

 **DEAN  
** This be a trap.

DEAN closes tha trunk n' headz past SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM closes tha folder.

**_DINER_ **

_INT. DINER – DAY_

DEAN n' SAM enta tha diner wit a funky-ass bell ringin all up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Therez a MAN all up in tha counter, a WAITRESS servin a funky-ass burger, a cold-ass lil couple other hustlas.

DEAN n' SAM scan opposite halvez of tha diner; DEAN sees a empty table up in a cold-ass lil corner wit four chairs yo. Dude pulls one of tha chairs away from tha table n' next ta tha potted plant.

DEAN n' SAM sit up in tha two chairs on tha other side of tha table, ensurin dat ADAM will sit up in tha last chair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM thumps Johnz journal n' tha folda on tha table.

 **SAM  
** Dean, I be spittin some lyrics ta you, tha kid checks out.

 **DEAN  
** Great, so he a actual thug on tha hood Earth. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sucks he gots a thugged-out demon up in his muthafuckin ass.

Another WAITRESS, DENISE, approaches tha table wit menus n' glassez of water; she gives dem each a glass.

 **DENISE  
** Yo! Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Cousin Oliver's.

 **SAM  
** Thanks.

 **DENISE  
** Can I—

 **DEAN  
** We straight-up waitin on some muthafucka.

DENISE, annoyed, slaps down a menu up in front of each of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SAM  
** Nuff props—

SAM picks up his crazy-ass menu long enough ta slap it down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN takes his wild lil' freakadelic glass n' pours it tha fuck into tha potted plant behind his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** What is you—

DEAN puts tha glass between his knees n' pulls up a gangbangin' flask, unscrewin tha top.

 **SAM  
** Holy water?

 **DEAN  
** Yup.

Under tha table, DEAN fills tha glass wit wata from tha flask.

 **DEAN  
** One sip of Jizzy juice, dis evil biiiatch is gonna be up in a ghetto of hurt.

DENISE strutts past; when her ass is outta sight, DEAN puts tha glass up in front of tha third place all up in tha table. DEAN pulls up a gangbangin' felt-wrapped package n' undoes dat shit.

 **SAM  
** And what tha fuck if he not possessed?

 **DEAN  
** Then he be a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifter.

DEANz package gotz nuff silver cutlery, which da perved-out muthafucka sets all up in tha third place all up in tha table, removin tha silverware already there n' droppin it on tha floor.

 **SAM  
** Hence tha silver.

SAM moves tha journal on top of tha menu.

 **DEAN  
** Look, either way, dis thang is gonna bleed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, rockin Dad as bait, biatch? Thatz tha last fuck up of its short, pitiful game.

SAM frowns, watchin DEAN, whoz ass looks over.

 **DEAN  
** What?

SAM looks away.

 **DEAN  
** What?

 **SAM  
** Dean...listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Therez a entry up in Dadz journal.

SAM flips all up in same.

 **SAM  
** From January of 1990, sayin dat schmoooove muthafucka headed ta Minnesota ta hit up a cold-ass lil case. That's, roughly, oh, bout nine months before tha kid was born.

 **DEAN  
** Coincidence.

 **SAM  
** Coincidence. Next two pagez of tha journal—torn out.

SAM indicates tha remainz of tha pages; these must done been deliberately left, cuz tha journal is clearly a three-rin add-and-remove-pages type.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass aint straight-up buyin this, is yo slick ass?

 **SAM  
** Look, dude, I don't wanna believe it either, I be just sayin itz possible.

SAM closes tha journal n' picks it up, wavin dat shit.

 **SAM  
** I mean, Dad would be gone fo' weeks at a time, n' da thug wasn't exactly a monk.

SAM puts tha journal away.

 **SAM  
** I mean, a hunta rolls tha fuck into town, kills a monster, saves tha girl...sometimes tha girlz grateful.

 **DEAN  
** Well, now I’m thankin bout Dad sex. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Quit rappin'.

 **SAM  
** Maybe da perved-out muthafucka slipped one past tha goalie.

 **DEAN  
** Dude!

Da door chimes fo' realz. A YOUNG MAN has just come in: dis is ADAM MILLIGAN. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks up, then DEAN fo' realz. ADAM looks around, lookin fo' tha unfamiliar faces.

 **SAM  
** Adam?

ADAM looks over n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM raises a hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! ADAM comes over.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass Sam?

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Uh, dis is Dean.

 **ADAM  
** Hey.

ADAM sets his backpack on tha floor next ta tha empty chair n' takes dat chair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da door chimes again.

 **ADAM  
** So, um...how did you know mah dad?

 **SAM  
** Uh, our crazy asses hit dat shiznit together.

ADAMz facial expressions indicate mad drama.

 **ADAM  
** How tha fuck did da ruffneck die?

 **SAM  
** On tha thang.

 **ADAM  
** Dude was a mechanic, right?

 **DEAN  
** A hoopty fell tha fuck on his muthafuckin ass.

DENISE comes up ta tha table, much playalier.

 **DENISE  
** Yo, Adam yo. How tha fuck you bustin?

DENISE puts a glass of wata up in front of ADAM. DEAN leans forward ta take dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM frowns.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, I’ll take dis shit. I be straight-up thirsty.

DEAN takes a sip. DENISE eyes DEAN, displeased.

 **DENISE  
** Da usual, Adam?

 **ADAM  
** Uh, yeah. Thanks, Denise.

DENISE leaves fo' realz. ADAM takes tha glass of holy gin n juice n' shit. DEAN n' SAM peep carefully as da ruffneck drinks; not a god damn thang happens fo' realz. ADAM is not, then, possessed, or not by a thugged-out demon less bangin than Azazel fo' realz. ADAM wipes his crazy-ass grill wit tha back of his hand.

 **SAM  
** So, uh, whenz tha last time you saw John?

 **ADAM  
** I don't even know. It's...a couple years.

Under tha table, DEAN pulls up a glock n' aims at ADAM.

 **SAM  
** Why did you decizzle ta booty-call his ass now?

 **ADAM  
** I didn't give a fuck whoz ass else ta call. Dat punk tha only crew I got.

SAM blinks.

 **ADAM  
** My fuckin momz missing.

 **SAM  
** Really, biatch? I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. Uh, fo' how tha fuck long?

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but tragic, straight-up. But if you Johnz kid, how tha fuck come we've never heard of yo slick ass?

 **ADAM  
** 'Cause Jizzy n' mah crazy ass didn't straight-up know each other n' shit. Not until all dem muthafuckin years ago, anyway.

 **SAM  
** What do you mean?

 **ADAM  
** My fuckin momma never talked bout his muthafuckin ass. I knew some stuff.

 **DEAN  
** What kind of stuff?

 **ADAM  
** My fuckin momz a nurse, n' Dad came tha fuck into tha ER, pretty torn up yo. Huntin accident or somethang fo' realz. And I knew his name. Jizzy Winchesta n' shit. Thatz bout dat shit. We not exactly a nuclear crew.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, well, whoz ass is these days?

 **DEAN  
** So, when did you, uh, when did you finally hook up him?

 **ADAM  
** When I was twelve. My fuckin momma had one of his oldschool numbers, and—

DEANz hand tightens on tha gun.

 **ADAM  
** —and afta I begged her—God, twenty-four-seven—she finally called his muthafuckin ass. God, when Jizzy heard dat schmoooove muthafucka had a son, he raced ta town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I mean, da ruffneck dropped every last muthafuckin thang yo. Dude drove all night.

DENISE puts a plate up in front of ADAM.

 **DENISE  
** There you go.

 **ADAM  
** Thanks.

 **DEAN  
** Well, thatz heartwarming.

ADAM indicates his chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass mind?

 **DEAN  
** Please, dig in.

ADAM takes tha napkin up from under tha silverware without touchin tha silverware n' spreadz tha napkin on his fuckin lap. DEAN cocks tha gun.

 **ADAM  
** Dude would swin by once a year or so.

ADAM picks up tha knife n' fork; not a god damn thang happens. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So ADAM aint a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifter, nor anythang else dat reacts on contact wit silver n' shit. DEAN glances away.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass know, called when his schmoooove ass could. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But still...

ADAM takes a funky-ass bite. DEAN uncocks tha glock n' puts it away.

 **ADAM  
** Dude taught me poker n' pool n' even looted mah crazy ass mah first brew when I was fifteen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And, uh...he flossed mah crazy ass how tha fuck ta drive. Dad, dat schmoooove muthafucka had dis dope 'sixty-seven Impala—

 **DEAN  
** Oh, dis is crap. Yo ass know what, you lying.

 **ADAM  
** Fuck dat shit, I’m not.

 **DEAN  
** Uh, yeah, yo ass is.

 **ADAM  
** I be sorry yo, but whoz ass tha hell is you ta booty-call me a liar?

 **DEAN  
** We Jizzy Winchester’s sons, thatz who.

DEAN indicates his dirty ass n' SAM.

 **DEAN  
**_We_  is his sons.

ADAM stares at DEAN, then at SAM, then at DEAN.

 **ADAM  
** I've gots brothers?

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, you aint gots brothers. Look, dude, I don't give a fuck if you a hunta or what tha fuck kind of game you playin here.

 **ADAM  
** I aint NEVER been hustlin up in mah game.

 **DEAN  
** Whatever n' shit. I be outta here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Come on, Sam.

DEAN gets up n' goes ta muthafuckin bounce.

 **ADAM  
** I can prove dat shit.

**_MILLIGAN HOUSE_ **

_INT. MILLIGAN HOUSE – DAY_

DEAN holdz a gangbangin' framed picture of ADAM n' JOHN; JOHN is bustin a funky-ass basebizzle cap. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN examine tha picture.

 **DEAN  
** Dude took you ta a funky-ass basebizzle game?

 **ADAM  
** Yeah, when I turned fourteen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dad was round fo' all dem of mah birthdays.

SAM holdz Johnz journal, open ta a page he readz from.

 **SAM  
** September twenty-ninth, two thousand four. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. One word. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 'Minnesota.'

 **DEAN  
** Dude took you ta a gangbangin' freakin' basebizzle game?

 **ADAM  
** Yeah. Why, biatch? What'd Dad do wit you on yo' birthday?

ADAM takes tha picture back.

 **DEAN  
** Oh...

DEAN frowns fo' realz. ADAM looks away.

 **SAM  
** Adam, you holla'd you called Dad cuz yo' momma was missing.

 **ADAM  
** Yeah.

 **SAM  
** How tha fuck long has da hoe been gone?

 **ADAM  
** Three days.

 **DEAN  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck was tha last thug ta peep her?

 **ADAM  
** Mista Muthafuckin fo' realz. Abbinanti, our neighbor yo. Dude saw her come home Tuesdizzle night yo, but she never flossed up ta work on Wednesday.

DEAN sees another picture, dis one of JOHN huggin KATE. KATE resemblez MARY.

 **SAM  
** Did yo dirty ass call tha police?

 **ADAM  
** Momz supervisor all up in tha hospitizzle done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And then I drove down here as fast as I could.

ADAM pauses.

 **ADAM  
** I should done been here.

 **DEAN  
** What'd the, uh, what'd tha cops say?

 **ADAM  
** That they, uh, they searched tha house. They didn't find anything.

ADAM pauses.

 **ADAM  
** Bitch wouldn't leave without spittin some lyrics ta anybody. It aint nuthin but like she just dropped off tha grill of tha earth, you know?

**_KATE'S ROOM_ **

_INT. KATE'S ROOM – DAY_

DEAN shifts KATEz dresser n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seein not a god damn thang behind it, da perved-out muthafucka shifts it back. There is mo' pictures on tha dresser: one of KATE, JOHN, n' a younger ADAM, n' one of KATE n' a straight-up lil' small-ass ADAM. DEAN focuses on tha one wit JOHN.

 **DEAN  
** The, uh, nightstand was knocked over n' shit. Was there anythang else?

 **ADAM  
** Oh, not straight-up. Da sheriff holla'd there be a no sign of a funky-ass break-in.

DEAN looks around.

 **ADAM  
** What, you be thinkin tha cops missed something?

 **DEAN  
** Maybe. Yeah. They aint gots mah eyes.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass be a mechanic.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. Thatz right.

ADAM hesitates.

 **ADAM  
** Dean, what tha fuck else can you tell me bout Dad?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass knew his muthafuckin ass.

 **ADAM  
** Not as well as you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Trust me, kid, you don't wanna know.

SAM appears all up in tha door, holdin up a handful of papers.

 **DEAN  
** Give our asses a minute.

DEAN leaves.

_INT yo. HALLWAY – DAY_

DEAN n' SAM stop strutting.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass rap ta tha cops?

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Like Adam holla'd, no leadz on his crazy-ass momma.

 **DEAN  
** Shocker there.

 **SAM  
** But I did find this.

SAM goes all up in papers till he findz a cold-ass lil copy of tha Windom Gazette dated January 9, 1990. Da headline is "Missin Bodies Found" n' tha subtitle "Seventeen bodies recovered from abandoned shed".

 **SAM  
** Um...here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. In nineteen ninety, there was seventeen grave robberies up in Windom.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass be thinkin thatz why Dad came all up in here?

 **SAM  
** I'd say so. Peep it out.

SAM points all up in tha photo accompanyin tha article. DEAN takes a cold-ass lil closer look. JOHN is up in tha background of tha photo. DEAN nods.

 **DEAN  
** All right, so da thug was hustlin something. What?

 **SAM  
** No idea. Those was tha pages tha pimpin' muthafucka threw outta tha journal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. But last month, tha corpse snatchin started up again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Three bodies from tha local cemetery.

 **DEAN  
** So whatever da thug was after, da ruffneck didn't bust a cap up in dat shit. It aint nuthin but back.

 **SAM  
** And, what, itz stepped up its game ta fresh meat, biatch? I mean, Katez missing, and, uh—

SAM goes ta tha next paper n' shit. This onez a cold-ass lil copy of a photo of a MAN up in big-ass black glasses, JOE BARTON.

 **SAM  
** So be a local bartender—a muthafucka named Joe Barton.

DEAN takes tha photo.

_INT. KATE'S BEDROOM – DAY_

ADAM is chillin on KATEz bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN comes ta tha door n' holdz up tha photo.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, do yo' momma know Joe Barton?

 **ADAM  
** Uh, I don't be thinkin so. Why?

DEAN looks back at SAM, then at ADAM fo' realz. A long pause. DEAN notices suttin' by ADAMz feet: scratches on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN comes over fo' a cold-ass lil closer look.

 **ADAM  
** What tha fuck iz it?

 **DEAN  
** Watch out.

DEAN flips up tha edge of tha comforta n' looks under tha bed, then gets up.

 **DEAN  
** Give me a hand wit tha mattress.

DEAN tosses tha pillows aside n' wit ADAMz help moves tha mattress off tha bedframe. Under tha bed be a vent big-ass enough ta fit one of mah thugs all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at dat shit. DEAN looks at SAM. They raise they fists fo' rock-paper-scissors. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM picks rock, DEAN scissors. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM smirks n' DEAN waves his thugged-out arms, frustrated, then puts his handz on his hips.

 **DEAN  
** Every time.

**_AIR DUCT_ **

_INT fo' realz. AIR DUCT – DAY_

A thump, tha sound of tha vent cover comin off, n' light from a gangbangin' flashlight fills tha duct. There is red stains along tha duct. DEAN shines tha light around, then slides inside. There be a T-junction all up in tha end of tha duct he in.

 **DEAN  
** Why didn't I pick paper?

DEAN crawls ta tha T-junction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Mo' red stains: blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! DEAN crawls a lil' bit further; ta one side be another vent cover, undisturbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN has a pistol up in his other hand, which he points round tha corner before he leans round his dirty ass. There be a big-ass amount of blood n' bitz of flesh or bone up in tha duct.

 

 


	3. Act Two

**_MOTEL ROOM_ **

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY_

DEAN cleans a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. A knock all up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN turns fo' realz. A closeup of tha motel card—they all up in tha Kismet Motel, advertisin fishin chartas n' aiiight minute up in tha Sonny Buono Lounge—and SAM opens tha door fo' realz. ADAM enters.

 **ADAM  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck tha hell is yo slick ass?

 **SAM  
** Adam, hey.

SAM closes tha door behind ADAM. DEAN flips a cold-ass lil cloth over tha shotgun.

 **SAM  
** Take it easy as fuck .

 **ADAM  
** Fuck dat shit, don't tell me ta take it easy as fuck , aiiight, biatch? My fuckin doggy den be a cold-ass lil crime scene, mah momz probably dead, n' you two—well, you tell me ta booty-call tha cops yo, but you gots ta bail before they show, biatch? So, whoz ass is you straight-up?

Silence.

 **ADAM  
** Cops didn't give a fuck where ta look fo' mah mom, Dean yo, but you done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And I heard you poppin' off earlier—suttin' bout grave robberies.

ADAM spots tha end of tha shotgun pokin up from under tha cloth.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass aint mechanics. I just wanna know what tha fuck be happenin.

Silence.

 **ADAM  
** Please.

 **SAM  
** Our thugged-out asses hunters.

 **DEAN  
** Sammy!

 **SAM  
** Dude deserves ta know, Dean.

 **ADAM  
** What do you mean, 'hunters'?

DEAN shakes his head.

**_MOTEL ROOM, LATER_ **

_EXT. KISMET MOTEL – DAY_

Da Impala n' ADAMz truck is outside tha Kismet Motel.

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY_

**ADAM  
** Okay, so...basically, you sayin dat every last muthafuckin porno monster, every last muthafuckin nightmare dat I’ve eva had, thatz all real?

 **DEAN  
**_Godzilla'_ s just a porno.

 **SAM  
** Our thugged-out asses hunt dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So did Dad.

ADAM nods.

 **ADAM  
** Okay.

 **DEAN  
** "Okay", biatch? Thatz it?

 **ADAM  
** What is I supposed ta say?

 **DEAN  
** That our slick asses liars, dat we crazy. No Muthafucka just say "okay."

 **ADAM  
** Well, you mah brothers. Yo ass is spittin some lyrics ta me tha real deal, right?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

 **ADAM  
** Then I believe you, biatch. Now, what tha fuck took mah mom?

 **SAM  
** We not sure. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethingz up in hood jackin bodies, livin n' dead yo, but our phat asses don't give a fuck what.

 **DEAN  
** Therez a long-ass list of freaks dat fit tha bill.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass be thinkin maybe she might still be kickin it?

DEAN looks down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. ADAM turns ta SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. ADAM nods, realizing, n' looks down.

 **ADAM  
** Oh yo. How tha fuck can I help?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass can't.

 **ADAM  
** This thang capped mah momma. If you hustlin it, I want in.

 **DEAN  
** No.

 **SAM  
** Dean, look, maybe-

 **DEAN  
** Maybe what?

 **SAM  
** Dude lost his crazy-ass mutha n' shit. Maybe we can KNOW what tha fuck dat feels like.

 **DEAN  
** Why do you be thinkin Dad never holla'd at our asses bout dis kid, Sam, biatch? Huh, biatch? Why do you be thinkin he ripped up tha pages?

 **SAM  
** Because—

 **DEAN  
** Because da thug was protectin him!

 **SAM  
** Dadz dead, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** That don't matter playa! Dude didn't want Adam ta have our lives, aiiight, biatch? And we is gonna respect his wishes.

 **ADAM  
** Do I git a say up in this?

 **DEAN  
** No!

 **SAM  
** No.

DEAN headz fo' tha door.

 **DEAN  
** Babysit tha kid.

 **SAM  
** Where is you going?

DEAN grabs his jacket.

 **DEAN  
** I be goin out!

DEAN leaves. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sighs.

 **ADAM  
** Is he always like that?

SAM laughs.

 **SAM  
** Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin tha crew.

ADAM looks down.

 **SAM  
** Here.

SAM pulls up his wild lil' freakadelic glock n' ejects tha clip.

 **SAM  
** I'ma teach you all dem thangs.

 **ADAM  
** Uh, Dean holla'd—

 **SAM  
** I know what tha fuck Dean holla'd.

SAM holdz tha unloaded glock up ta ADAM.

 **SAM  
** And I know what tha fuck itz like ta want revenge.

**_MILLSAP TOMB_ **

_INT. TOMB — DAY_

Da CEMETERY DIRECTOR escorts DEAN, whoz ass is up in STD suit n' tie.

 **DIRECTOR  
** This tomb was built up in 1926. Four generationz of tha Millsap crew was interred here.

 **DEAN  
** They don't build 'em like dis no mo'.

 **DIRECTOR  
** Tell me, Agent Nugent, have you thought bout where you might like ta spend eternity?

DEAN hesitates.

 **DEAN  
** All tha damn time.

DEAN looks round tha tomb.

 **DEAN  
** So, three bodies went missin fo' realz. Any scam whoz ass done did it?

 **DIRECTOR  
** Hooligans. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sick, deranged hooligans.

DEAN notices suttin' spilled on tha side of tha tomb yo. Dude touches it, smells it, n' recoils.

 **DEAN  
** This aint blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! What tha fuck iz this?

 **DIRECTOR  
** Fuck dat shit, itz embalmin fluid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Whoever committed dis crime didn't just take tha corpses. They opened dem up.

DEAN looks up.

**_BAR_ **

_INT. BAR – NIGHT_

DEAN takes a seat all up in tha empty bar n' unfoldz tha papers his schmoooove ass carrying. Da BARTENDER spots his ass n' fills a glass all up in tha tap.

 **BARTENDER  
** First brewz on tha doggy den fo' cops. Fedz like a muthafucka.

 **DEAN  
** Am I dat obvious?

 **BARTENDER  
** I know all tha local badges.

She sets tha glass up in front of DEAN.

 **BARTENDER  
** And you've gots that... _Law & Order_ vibe.

Da BARTENDER picks up a cold-ass lil cloth n' starts dryin another glass.

 **BARTENDER  
** So, whatz tha STD bustin up in Windom?

 **DEAN  
** Lookin tha fuck into tha disappearizzle of Joe Barton.

DEAN slides tha photo of JOE across tha bar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da BARTENDER looks at it, stricken.

 **DEAN  
** I assume you knew him?

 **BARTENDER  
** A lil. I be his hoe. Lisa.

 **DEAN  
** Well, Lisa, what tha fuck can you tell me bout his fuckin lil' disappearance?

 **LISA  
** Same thang I holla'd all up in tha sheriff yo. Dude stayed late Fridizzle before last ta do inventory. Never came home.

DEAN takes tha glass of brew.

 **DEAN  
** And tha police?

 **LISA  
** Nothing. Truth is, I was scared they stopped looking. But now you here.

DEAN looks all up in tha photos behind tha bar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. One iz of JOE up in a five-o uniform.

 **DEAN  
** Joe was a cold-ass lil cop?

 **LISA  
** Deputy. For a lil while. That was a looong time ago.

 **DEAN  
** Dude didn't happen ta work the, uh, tha grave robbery case, back up in 'ninety?

 **LISA  
** Dude done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yeah. Joe was tha one whoz ass found dem bodies yo. Dude gots a award fo' that.

 **DEAN  
** That was a bangin-ass case.

Framed near tha police!JOE photo is tha "Missin Bodies Found" article.

 **DEAN  
** Dude eva rap how tha fuck da ruffneck done did it?

DEAN scans tha newspaper photo fo' JOHN.

 **LISA  
** Most of tha time, da perved-out muthafucka holla'd good, solid five-o work. But afta all dem brews, he'd admit dat schmoooove muthafucka had a lil help.

 **DEAN  
** From who?

 **LISA  
** A 'specialist'. Thatz all he'd say.

 **DEAN  
** Cops eva find tha muthafucka dat stole tha bodies?

DEAN takes a thugged-out drink.

 **LISA  
** No.

But when I axed Joe bout it, he'd say not ta worry—that "we took care of what tha fuck done dat shit."

**_MOTEL ROOM_ **

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT_

ADAM is practicin disassemblin a glock while SAM cleans a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun.

 **ADAM  
** Sam...how did Dad straight-up die?

 **SAM  
** Demon.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass hunted it down, biatch? Got revenge?

 **SAM  
** Dean capped dat shit.

 **ADAM  
** So itz over fo' you, biatch.

SAM looks at ADAM.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but never over.

Da lights go out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang rattles.

 **ADAM  
** What the—

 **SAM  
** Shh.

SAM n' ADAM stand.

 **SAM  
** Stay here.

SAM loadz tha shotgun, approachin tha door yo. Dude opens tha door n' looks around, aimin tha shotgun up in whichever direction he looking; not a god damn thang fo' realz. A noise behind SAM; tha pimpin' muthafucka turns n' aims up in its general direction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Therez a vent near tha ceiling; SAM aims at that.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but up in tha vents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Go!

SAM fires all up in tha vent, then hustlez ADAM outta tha room, followin right behind.

_EXT. KISMET MOTEL – NIGHT_

They hurry down tha stairs.

 **SAM  
** Wherez yo' car?

 **ADAM  
** Over here.

 **SAM  
** All right, keys.

 **ADAM  
** Here.

ADAM headz fo' tha passenger side of his cold-ass truck, SAM fo' tha driverz side. While SAM fumblez wit tha keys, suttin' grabs his thugged-out ankle, yankin his ass ta tha ground n' under tha truck. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM grabs tha truck ta resist.

 **ADAM  
** Sam!

Da Impala pulls up.

 **ADAM  
** Dean, help!

ADAM grab one of SAMz arms n' DEAN tha other n' they pull his ass free. DEAN gets outta tha car, grabs tha dropped shotgun, n' fires. DEAN looks at SAM, SAM looks at ADAM, ADAM flops onto tha ground.

 


	4. Act Three

ADAMz truck backs outta tha space yo. He'd parked right over a sewer grate, which is half open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN gets outta tha truck n' approaches tha grate, aimin tha shotgun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Therez blood on tha edge. DEAN gets up n' headz past SAM, whoz ass is leanin on tha hood of tha Impala.

 **DEAN  
** I winged dat shit. Did yo dirty ass peep anything?

 **SAM  
** I didn't git a phat look.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell is dis thang?

 **ADAM  
** Why—who—should we go afta it?

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, no. In dat maze, biatch? That thangz long gone.

 **SAM  
** All right, so, our phat asses don't give a fuck what tha fuck it is yo, but our phat asses do know whoz ass itz goin afta n' shit. Joe Barton, Adamz mom—

 **DEAN  
** And Adam. Dat shiznit was under his cold-ass truck, just waitin fo' his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** It set a trap, n' I strutted right tha fuck into dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Doesn't matter n' shit. Yo ass is right—therez a pattern, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Joe Barton was a cold-ass lil cop. I be pretty shizzle dat schmoooove muthafucka helped up Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So we've gots him, Dadz girl, n' his son.

 **SAM  
** All tha playas Dad knew up in town.

 **DEAN  
** At least we know why itz back.

 **ADAM  
** It wants revenge.

DEAN n' SAM peep ADAM.

**_MILLIGAN HOUSE_ **

_INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT_

Da door opens n' ADAM, DEAN, n' SAM enter.

 **DEAN  
** Grab yo' stuff. We bout ta hit tha road.

ADAM flips on tha lights n' headz upstairs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sits all up in tha kitchen table.

 **SAM  
** We shouldn't muthafuckin bounce.

SAM thumps his wild lil' fucked up ankle on another chair.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, letz stay here, where tha kidz momma gots ganked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dope one.

 **SAM  
** I be straight-up n shit.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, Sam, we gonna take tha kid, we gonna drop his ass off at Bobby's, n' then you n' mah crazy ass is gonna come back here n' finish what tha fuck Dad started.

SAM stops moving, a ace bandage up in one hand.

 **SAM  
** How, biatch? We gots no leads, no witnesses. Us dudes do have what tha fuck dis thang wants.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass wanna use tha kid as bait, biatch? Thatz why you wanna stay here?

 **SAM  
** Maybe dis thang will come back. We could train Adam—get his ass ready.

 **DEAN  
** Dude could die, Sam.

 **SAM  
** We could all die, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Even if our phat asses do bust a cap up in dis thang, there be tonz of other freaks dat want revenge, on Dad, on us. What if they find tha kid instead n' he not ready?

SAM unrolls tha ace bandage n' starts wrappin his thugged-out ankle fo' realz. ADAM returns, backpack over one shoulder.

 **ADAM  
** I be bout ta do dat shit. Whatever it takes, I’ll do dat shit. I wanna do dat shit.

DEAN looks at SAM, whoz ass looks at ADAM.

**_SHOOTING RANGE_ **

_EXT. OUTDOORS – DAY_

Three gunshots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Da first one cook up a hole up in a piece of metal, all up in which SAM n' ADAM is visible, SAM holdin a gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da other side of tha metal be a sign, "NO TRESPASSING", "TRESPASSING ON THIS PROPERTY IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN", "VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW IN ACCORDANCE WITH MINNESOTA PENAL CODE 555.512.457.800.8", on which two red rings done been spraypainted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. There is three lil' small-ass holez close together inside tha smalla ring. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM lowers tha gun.

 **ADAM  
** Whoa.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but easy as fuck . Just feel tha recoil n' time tha trigger pulls. Three taps.

SAM holdz tha glock up ta ADAM.

 **ADAM  
** Yeah?

 **SAM  
** Go ahead.

ADAM takes tha glock n' moves up in front of SAM yo. Dude fires three times, kickin up leaves; all three shots hit tha sign, fairly close together, one on n' two inside tha inner ring. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM grins fo' realz. A distizzle away, DEAN, leanin against tha Impala, shakes his head n' looks away.

 **ADAM  
** Beginnerz luck, right?

 **SAM  
** Nah, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass be a natural. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Dope blasting.

SAM claps ADAM on tha back.

 **ADAM  
** Thanks.

**_MILLIGAN HOUSE_ **

_INT. KITCHEN – DAY_

Books, one on "HELLHOUNDS", one on "THE ALL-WATCHING BAPHOMET", one on "AFFLICTIONS OF GHOSTS", one on suttin' not visibly named (the legible text say 'in Europe', 'references is rare as they was carefully', n' 'fear of panickin tha population'); all is illustrated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Da last appears ta show suttin' explodin outta one of mah thugss chest.

 **SAM  
** So, then our slick asses lit it on fire.

 **ADAM  
** With a homemade flamethrower?

 **SAM  
** Yeah. They're easy as fuck ta build. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be bout ta show you, biatch.

 **ADAM  
** That is some thang you got, man.

 **SAM  
** Bein a hunta aint a thang, Adam. It aint nuthin but game. Yo ass is pre-med. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass gots a hoe, playas?

ADAM nods.

 **SAM  
** Not no mo' you don't. If you straight-up gonna do this, you can't have dem kindz of connections, eva n' shit. They're weaknesses. You'll just put dem playas up in danger, git dem capped.

DEAN, across tha room, looks away.

 **SAM  
** Thatz tha price we pay. Yo ass cut 'em out, n' you don't look back. Therez only one thang you can count on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Family.

 **DEAN  
** Sam.

SAM looks over.

 **DEAN  
** Can I rap ta yo slick ass?

DEAN gets up n' goes over by tha stairs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM bigs up.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell was that?

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** 'Huntin is game. Yo ass can't have connections.' Dad gave you dat exact same speech, remember, biatch? Dat shiznit was just before you ditched our asses fo' Stanford. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass hated Dad fo' sayin dat stuff, n' now you quotin him?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, well, turns up Dad was right.

 **DEAN  
** Since when?

 **SAM  
** Since always. Dean, when I peep Adam, you know what tha fuck I see?

 **DEAN  
** A aiiight kid.

 **SAM  
** No. Meat. Because tha demons n' monstas up there, thatz all he is. I hated Dad fo' a long-ass time. I done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But now I be thinkin I understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So our phat asses didn't gotz a thugged-out dawg n' a white picket fence. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what, biatch? Dad did right by our asses yo. Dude taught our asses how tha fuck ta protect ourselves fo' realz. Adam deserves tha same.

 **DEAN  
** Listen ta yo ass, man.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass be thinkin I’m wrong?

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin itz too late fo' us. This is our game. This is whoz ass we are, aiiight, biatch? And itz fine. I accept dis shit. But wit Adam, da perved-out muthafucka still gots a cold-ass lil chance, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude can git all up in school yo. Dude could be a thugged-out doctor.

 **SAM  
** What make Adam so special?

 **DEAN  
** What, is you jealouz of tha kid?

 **SAM  
** Is yo slick ass?

A pause.

 **SAM  
** Dean...all this...itz not real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Da daddy Adam knew—he wasn't real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Da thangs up there up in tha shadows—they is real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Da ghetto is comin ta a end yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Thatz real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Everythang else is just part of tha crap playas tell theyselves ta git all up in tha day.

 **DEAN  
** Dad didn't gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle wit us, aiiight, biatch? But wit Adam, da ruffneck done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Adam don't gotta be cursed.

 **SAM  
** Dat punk a Winchesta n' shit. Dat punk already cursed.

 **DEAN  
** No. Fuck dat shit, whateverz hustlin Adam, I’m gonna find dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass already looked everywhere, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Well, then I’ll look again.

DEAN leaves.

**_TOMB_ **

_EXT. ROAD – NIGHT_

Da Impala drives past n' tha fuck into tha cemetery.

_INT. TOMB – NIGHT_

DEAN opens tha tomb yo. Dude turns on a gangbangin' flashlight n' shines it around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude spots a loose stone, big-ass enough ta hide a tunnel, n' works it outta tha wall wit a cold-ass lil crowbar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. There is indeed a tunnel behind dat shit. DEAN shines tha light along tha tunnel yo. Dude shakes his head n' crawls in.

At tha far end of tha tunnel be another room.

 **DEAN  
** Home dope home.

DEAN shines tha light around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude steps up in blood; there be a like a shitload of it next ta a severed arm n' a pair of big-ass black glasses. DEAN picks dem up n' looks at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN  
** Sloppy Joe.

DEAN hears suttin' up in tha tunnel n' fires nuff muthafuckin times. Da tunnel collapses.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch!

DEAN tries ta cook up a cold-ass lil call. No signal.

 **DEAN  
** Son of a funky-ass biiiatch.

**_MILLIGAN HOUSE_ **

_INT fo' realz. ASSORTED ROOMS – NIGHT_

SAM pours salt along every last muthafuckin window n' door fo' realz. ADAM nails boardz over every last muthafuckin vent.

_INT. KATE'S BEDROOM – NIGHT_

Da vent up in tha floor, vent cover mostly off, remains unsalted n' un-nailed-closed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM n' ADAM stand over dat shit.

 **SAM  
** All right. We've closed off every last muthafuckin other way tha fuck into tha house. If dis thangz coming, itz comin all up in here.

A creak, like a thugged-out door opening.

 **ADAM  
** Yo ass was saying?

 **KATE  
** Adam! Adam!

 **ADAM  
** Mom?

 **SAM  
** No.

 **ADAM  
** Mom!

 **SAM  
** Adam!

ADAM takes off downstairs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM chambers a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun round n' bigs up.

_INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT_

**ADAM  
** Mom.

 **SAM  
** Adam, wait!

 **KATE  
** It took me yo, but I gots away.

 **ADAM  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy.

 **KATE  
** I gots away.

ADAM hugs KATE. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM aims tha shotgun.

 **SAM  
** Adam, step away from her muthafuckin ass.

 **ADAM  
** Sam, what tha fuck tha hell?!

 **SAM  
** Dat hoe not yo' mother!

 **KATE  
** Adam, who—what is goin on?

**_TOMB_ **

_INT. TOMB – NIGHT_

DEAN kicks all up in tha door outta tha tomb. Well shiiiit, it remains sealed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN explores, pushin a skeleton outta tha way wit a gangbangin' foot. There be a sealed coffin wit relatively fresh blood on tha outside. DEAN opens tha coffin: itz KATE MILLIGAN. Most of her muthafuckin ass.

**_MILLIGAN HOUSE_ **

_INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT_

**SAM  
** Git away from him!

 **'KATE'  
** What tha fuck iz goin on?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass dig mah dirty ass.

 **ADAM  
** It aint nuthin but straight-up her, aiiight?

 **SAM  
** There was too much blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Yo crazy-ass motherz dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There was too much blood up in tha vents!

SAM shoves ADAM away from 'KATE' fo' realz. ADAM takes tha shotgun.

 **'KATE'  
** Adam!

 **SAM  
** Shoot dat shiznit son!

 **'KATE'  
** Dat punk crazy dawwwwg! Honey, itz me!

ADAM points tha glock at 'KATE', then at 'SAM', lookin trippin n' terrified.

 **SAM  
** Look—Adam!

 **'KATE'  
** Honey, itz me!

 **SAM  
** Look, thatz not yo' mutha playa!

 **'KATE'  
** Baby, please!

 **SAM  
** Shoot dat shiznit son! It aint nuthin but not human!

ADAM levels tha glock at 'KATE' n' smirks.

 **ADAM  
** I know.

ADAM hits SAM on tha chin wit tha booty of tha shotgun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM goes down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 'KATE' smiles.

**_TOMB_ **

_INT. TOMB – NIGHT_

DEAN opens another coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This one has tha corpse of ADAM MILLIGAN. DEAN puts a hand ta his crazy-ass grill; there be a like a shitload of blood.

 


	5. Act Four

**_TOMB_ **

_INT. TOMB – NIGHT_

DEAN, now aware dat his brotherz ridin' solo wit a monster, redoublez his wild lil' fuckin efforts ta escape yo. Dude looks around; there be a a stained-glass window above him, depictin a angel.

**_MILLIGAN HOUSE_ **

_INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT_

'KATE' is humming. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is tied ta a table, unconscious. When da perved-out muthafucka stirs, he notices tha pimpin' muthafucka tied at wrists n' ankles, wit duct tape across his waist yo. Dude strugglez n' groans. 'KATE' is cleanin her fingernails wit tha deal wit a knife.

 **SAM  
** Silver n' shit. No wonder none of tha tests worked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass aint shapeshifters. Yo ass is ghouls.

 **'KATE'  
** Yo ass know, I find dat term racist.

She emphasizes tha point by wavin her knife. 'KATE' sniffs SAM from hand ta neck n' nibblez his wild lil' fuckin ear.

 **'KATE'  
** Mmm. Fresh meat. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So much betta than what tha fuck we used to.

 **SAM  
** I should have known. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat shiznit was tha fresh kills dat threw mah dirty ass. Ghouls don't probably go afta tha living. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See, you just filthy scavengers, feedin off tha dead—takin tha form of tha last corpse you choke down.

 **'ADAM'  
** And they thoughts fo' realz. And they memories. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Like Adam, fo' instance.

 **'KATE'  
** Well, we is what tha fuck we eat.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass is monsters.

'KATE' draws tha knife across SAMz arm, drawin blood.

 **'ADAM'  
** Yo ass know, you use dat word a lot, Sam.

'KATE' dranks SAMz blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! 'ADAM' thunks tha knife tha fuck into tha table by SAMz head.

 **'ADAM'  
** But I don't be thinkin you know what tha fuck it means.

'KATE' looks up.

 **'KATE'  
** His blood, it tastes different.

 **'ADAM'  
** Our daddy was a monster, biatch? Why, biatch? Because of what tha fuck he ate, biatch? Dude never hurt mah playas, Sam. Living, anyway.

'KATE' pulls tha knife free.

 **'KATE'  
** No yo. Dude was no monsta n' shit. But tha thang dat capped his ass was fo' realz. A monsta named Jizzy Winchester.

SAM looks at her muthafuckin ass.

**_TOMB_ **

_INT. TOMB – NIGHT_

DEAN breaks a long-ass piece of metal off one of tha coffins n' tries ta use it ta pry tha door open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it don't work.

 **DEAN  
** Holy crap.

DEAN stacks one coffin on another, standz on them, n' uses tha metal bar ta smash all up in tha stained-glass window. DEAN grabs tha edge of tha window n' swings his dirty ass out.

**_MILLIGAN HOUSE_ **

_INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT_

Therez a stab wound up in SAMz side; 'ADAM' digs a gangbangin' finger tha fuck into dat shit.

 **'KATE'  
** Thanks ta yo' daddy, mah brutha n' I grew up on our own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. At least our crazy asses had each other.

'ADAM' licks his wild lil' finger.

 **'ADAM'  
** Like you n' yo' brutha n' shit. Inseparable.

 **'KATE'  
** Actually, dat shiznit was straight-up hard ta git you on yo' own.

 **'ADAM'  
** Like you holla'd, Sam, tha only thang you can count on is crew.

'KATE' dranks some mo' blood, then licks her fingers.

 **'KATE'  
** And fo' twenty years, our slick asses lived like rats.

 **'ADAM'  
** Graveyard afta graveyard, all dat stinkin flesh.

 **'KATE'  
** Then we thought, 'hey, why not move up ta fresher game?'

 **'ADAM'  
** And we knew just where ta start.

'ADAM' digs tha deal wit tha knife tha fuck into tha cut up in SAMz arm.

 **'ADAM'  
** Revenge—itz never over, is it, Sam?

 **'KATE'  
** First, dat shiznit was Johnz cop playa, n' then his supa-ho, n' then his son.

'KATE' points wit tha knife at her muthafuckin ass, then at 'ADAM'.

 **'ADAM'  
** Then I called John yo, but tha lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch was already dead as fuckin fried chicken.

 **'KATE'  
** So I guess you n' Dean will gotta do instead.

 **'ADAM'  
** Dean won't interrupt our asses dis time. We gonna feed on you sick n' slow—like our phat asses did wit Adam.

 **'KATE'  
** Oh, and, by tha way, he straight-up was yo' brother.

SAM struggles.

 **'KATE'  
** Yo ass should know that.

 **'ADAM'  
** Dude was still kickin it when we took our first bites.

 **'KATE'  
** And da thug was a screamer.

'KATE' n' 'ADAM' each open gashes along one of SAMz arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Blood drips tha fuck into bowls placed ta catch dat shit.

 **'ADAM'  
** Sam, tha mo' you struggle, tha fasta you gonna bleed out.

So you might as well lie back n' chillax.

 **DEAN  
** Hey!

DEAN appears, aimin a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dude fires n' 'ADAM' hits tha wall, a hole all up in his shoulder.

 **SAM  
** Dean, they ghouls!

DEAN pauses, then fires at 'KATE'. Blood spattas tha wall; her headless corpse collapses.

 **DEAN  
** Which means head-shot.

'ADAM' slams DEAN, breakin a shitload of glass on tha way down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN grabs 'ADAM' n' slams his ass down, then takes his crazy-ass metal bar n' tries ta slam 'ADAM's' head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 'ADAM' dodges. They fight; 'ADAM' goes down, n' DEAN beats his head in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Silence falls.

 **SAM  
** Dean!

DEAN comes over ta SAM n' cuts all up in tha ropes n' duct tape, grabbin a cold-ass lil couple towels on tha way yo. Dude helps SAM sit up n' uses tha towels as heat bandages, murmurin tha whole time.

 **DEAN  
** Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Hang on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. All right, here we go yo. Here we go yo. Hang on, dawg fo' realz. All right.

 **SAM  
** Nuff props, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz what tha fuck crewz for, right, biatch? Keep heat on that.

 


	6. Act Five

_EXT. FOREST – NIGHT_

**SAM  
** Yo ass shizzle we should do this?

ADAMz body, wrapped up in sheets, is lyin on a pyre.

DEAN opens a funky-ass forty of lighta fluid.

 **DEAN  
** Ghouls didn't fake dem pictures. They didn't fake Dadz journal.

DEAN sprinklez lighta fluid over ADAM.

 **DEAN  
** Adam was our brutha n' shiznit yo. Dude took a dirt nap like a hustla n' shiznit yo. Dude deserves ta go up like one.

 **SAM  
** Maybe we can brang his ass back. Git a hold of Cas, call up in a gangbangin' favor.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, Adamz up in a funky-ass betta place.

DEAN lights a match n' tosses it on tha pyre fo' realz. ADAMz body goes up in flames.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know, I finally git why you n' Dad butted headz all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Yo ass two was practically tha same person.

SAM looks over.

 **DEAN  
** I mean, I worshipped tha muthafucka, you know, biatch? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I dig tha same beatz. Drop dis like itz hot! But you was mo' like his ass than I'ma eva be fo' realz. And I peep dat now, nahmeean?

 **SAM  
** I be bout ta take dat as a cold-ass lil compliment.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass take it any way you want.

 


End file.
